Beachcombing Belgium

On our way to catch the ferry in Calais, France, we visited a lovely stretch of beach in Belgium. It was a chilly, sunny day - sounds of seagulls, surf rolling itself at our feet again and again like a mantra. It was wonderful to walk on sand again, to sink into sand dunes, our bodies avalanching to the glossy glow of beach below. 

Hunting for empty razor clam shells -  they look like old Chinese men's fingernails stretching outward  from beneath the sand. Hours later we boarded the ferry with pocketfuls of them.

This is the North Sea, close to the English Channel. Across the water, England. Our new home.

Akychame and Daddy: reminds me of the "Footsteps" poem. 

We watched the barnacles poke out for meals, then hide in a wink.

Little miss celebrity in Hello Kitty bathrobe and "bling"-ful shades.

Windswept, barren loveliness everywhere. Everything buried and unburied by sand and sea.

Love Love Love

Just thinking about our little family today, and all of our happy memories together.

My Flower Children

Please click on the mosaic to enlarge

Almost every day my girls bring me little wildflower bouquets and heart-shaped rocks and 4-leaf clovers. There are always flowers by my bed, on the windowsill by the kitchen sink, and on our dining table. Their sweet bouquets make my heart so light and ecstatic. The girls even bring me breakfast and coffee in bed now and again and give me foot rubs! Akychame and Lvov, you are my heart's delight!!!

Daddy's Goodbye Pillow

Goodbyes & Kisses

Goodbyes June 2008 - Leaving for Korea for One Year

Goodbyes are hard. But we've been through this before and we know what to expect. When Phil left in 2005, we were kind of floundering. I didn't speak very much German, Phil was in a potentially dangerous area, we never knew when he would be able to call us (and when he did, he had to wait in line for up to an hour, and even then there was no privacy), we had absolutely no support system here (I cannot stress that enough!) and we didn't have many friends. Phil had to live in a tent with several other guys (absolutely NO personal freedom or privacy) and he had to walk across an unbelievably hot and dusty base just to take a shower.

It was hard for all of us.

This time around, we're more rugged! We've been there, done that. There are so many reasons why this time will be easier than the last, even though this separation is twice as long.

Goodbyes December 2005 - Leaving for Afghanistan for Six Months

Top Ten Reasons Why this Year Will Fly By:

1. We know from experience that we can make it.

2. Phil will become NCOIC of the armory at Osan, and he hears that it's a great shop.

3. Phil has his own room.

4. The girls and I speak and understand much more German this time around, which makes us feel much more comfortable and capable here.

5. We've lived here for 4 years already, so Kaiserslautern feels like home. We know our way around, we know what's what. It's rare for a military family to feel at home somewhere.

6. The kids and I have many more friends.

7. Akychame is old enough to babysit, and Lvov is legally old enough to be home alone anyway (though I insist that they be home together). This is great because I get to avoid mom-burnout! I can have fun on my own, then be 100% present for my kids the rest of the time. The happier I am, the happier they are. So true!

8. Unlike the last separation, this sacrifice has two major pay-offs: Phil won't go to war in Iraq for at least a year and a half! And during that time, the Presidency will have changed hands. We're hoping that this madness will come to an end. But for now, our boy is safe! That alone is worth a year apart.

9. Here's the 2nd benefit: as you all know, as a reward for living apart from his family for a year, Phil has been assigned to a dream base in England! It's a tiny, laid-back base with a very low deployment schedule. And...it's located right next to Oxford, England!!! Oh my, life will be sweet. Major pay-off.

10. This one came as a shock to us all: military dependents who are not command-sponsored (that's us) are allowed to (and welcome to) get a visa to live in Korea for up to a year so that they can visit their sponsors on the weekends!!! So next week I'll be sending out our passport info and applying for visas...it'll take about 2 months for it all to process...then we can take a free military flight to Korea! Phil is excited to start looking for apartments for us near Seoul. We'll probably stay for a month or two. What an adventure! We're also pretty psyched about it because it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from Korea to Tokyo. Even though I remember Tokyo like the back of my hand, the kids' memories of Japan are unfortunately a little faded. Maybe we'll celebrate Christmas in Tokyo. Who knows?

Even though a year is a long time, we're actually very lucky because Army families have to be on their own for 15 months at a time while their soldiers are fightinng in Iraq - and once the soldiers reunite with their families (if they still have families by the time they return) they only have about a 3 or 4 month grace period before they're thrown back into the fire. We Air Force folks have it easy compared to all that. Kudos to all of those struggling families!

So, time marches on. Before bed every night, the girls will have a Hershey's "kiss" from Daddy. Each kiss brings us a day closer to being together.

Akychame, the "Dog-Gone Good" Entrepreneur

Lvov's "Sponge Bob" 10th Birthday Party!

Lvov's Relf-Referential Artwork

Please enlarge to see what I mean! Is this clever or what???

Phil and Jalina Going out to Dinner for their 14th Wedding Anniversary

Isn't this fantastic??? Lvov made it for us for our anniversary. I can't think of anything better to do on my anniversary than to embrace Phil with cardboard arms while being served miniature dinner at a milk carton table. Lovely!

And we really did go out for a nice dinner, but the place was a real dive - no milk carton tables, no wash cloth table covers...but we did our best to enjoy ourselves.


We dined at Club 21, a bar/restaurant that has a stunning view of Kaiserslautern. It felt as if we were looking out an airplane window - the fresh perspective revealed the city's secrets and every building, alley way, store, and park suddenly made more sense. I saw the interconnectedness of the city; I finally understood the dead ends, the roads I had always meant to take, and the confusing places that I can never quite "map" in my mind's eye.

That night, feasting on delicious food and looking back over the view of our lives together with different and older eyes, everything made sense: the dead ends, the confusing places, the roads we never took. Everything with my boy made sense.

I'm lucky, lucky lucky.

Letters to God at the Church in the Cliff at Idar-Oberstein, Germany

The village of Idar-Oberstein lies about 45km up the Nahe River from Bad Münster am Stein-Ebernburg. It's a long, twisting drive from Kaiserslautern, a little over an hour through forests and mountains. We had heard so much about this quaint village, the church built into the side of a cliff, and the one-of-a-kind jewelry created on-site, that we absolutely had to check it out. For a weekend "quickie" trip, this was a lovely adventure!

Idar-Oberstein was once a mining center for precious stones and minerals, but when the industry exhausted its resources in the 1800's, the little town became renowned for jewelry craftmanship. This is where people go to find cutting-edge gemstone jewelry.

From Oberstein's Marktplatz (where most of the unbelievably artsy and wonderful jewelry boutiques are located, tucked into little corners here and there, and spilling out into the cobblestone alleyways), 230 steps lead up to the late fifteenth-century Felsenkirche, a late Gothic church set in a grotto about halfway up a steep rockface. Amazingly, you have to walk through a cave to get to the front door of the church! What a thrill...the drip, drip, dripping of water from the rock ceiling above us, the dank smell of minerals and forest, the darkness...

Inside, the church is clean, bright, and modern. One would never guess that it was built into a cliff over 600 years ago! Imagine our delight when we found a winding walkway through a side door of the church that led us between the church and the rock face, up to the bell tower and a little wooden lookout! We could see the entire town laid out beneath us. As if to celebrate this discovery, the gigantic metal bell sang out...what serendipity!

Before we left the church, we found a little nook overlooking the cliff. On a table, what we thought was a magnificent guest book lay open inviting us to read and to leave our impressions of our visit. When I began reading the entires, mostly auf Deutsch, it became clear that this was no guest book. It was a book of prayers to god! Each entry was different; the handwriting, color of ink, length of the entries,language, and the prayers themselves were all unique and beautiful the way they were arranged on the pages like a quilt of ink and hope. You can see Lvov writing a letter to God in this picture:

The church was so exhilarating, we wanted to keep exploring despite the sheets of rain. So we found a path that leads up from the Felsenkirche to two feudal castles, from which you can see views of Oberstein and the Nahe valley. Burg Bosselstein was built in 1196. Schloss Oberstein was built in the early fourteenth century and remained intact until it sustained severe fire damage in 1855. The Schloss, or castle, seems to grow organically out of the rockface, similar to the "church in the rock." The path led through old growth forest, the stuff of fairy tales, and across little foot bridges to the Burg and Schloss. Along the way we collected leaves, heart-shaped rocks, seeds with crimson tongues just poking out, and all sorts of treasures.

Before going home we bought a few crystals (I bought some "wands" to use on pressure points for massage) and then we stopped at a little restaurant in the village for a wonderful, sleepy dinner. Our family adventures make me so happy.

My Favorite Kiss

I love this video, it's brilliant. I could watch it a thousand times.

A Yummy Valentine's Day (the girls were our rollerskating waitresses!)

Reuniting with Friends from 20 years Ago

Hanging out with my Sisters and my Niece!!!

I was soooooo psyched to see Jody, to hang out late at night and giggle and tell secrets. It's what I really go to Bennington College for. ; ) To think, I used to sneak into her bedroom in Burbank, California and steal her lunch money to go buy things at the neighbor's yard sale. But that was the same year I tried making glamorous high-heels by gluing Lincoln Logs to the bottom of my sneakers, so what did I know?

My sister Jody is so creative and clever and dynamic. Always in the midst of a new project that would easily overwhelm other people. Not to mention she's just funny and real and cool and one of my favorite people on earth to talk for hours and hours with. And one of the only people I can tell everything to. Everything! And that's a lot. Thank you, Jody.



Every time I see Kiva, she has grown into more of a hip, gorgeous, self-confident young lady, and what a dancer! She reminds me of Chelsea with her smart, self-assured attitude and her hip-hop moves. Every time we get together I try out some of her moves - oh god - if you're over 30 and you ever want proof that you're hopelessly uncool, despite vague memories of once having been the shiznit, just try keeping up with your younger sister on the dance floor.
; )

I love that my Dad always gets our names confused, even though I've lived on different continents for over a decade now. It's an amazing compliment because it means that I'm always on my Dad's mind, and also it means that he sees a little bit of me in her fiery, goddess-like temperament. I like that!

Speaking of being confused with other people in the family, I also love it (and have always loved it) that Jody used to get Chelsea's name and my name mixed up. I'm sure it came naturally, since I'm younger than Jody, so she was often in an authoritative role with me - and Chelsea was the only other person that fit that role. So it makes sense that she would switch our names. But I also like to think that Chelsea, in some way, reminds her of me, and vice-versa. Chelsea, oh my goodness, I love you. And the mama you came from.

A Loving Note from my Dad in a Children's Book (dated Christmas 1976 )

Our Lovely Paris Vacation: A Poetry Reading, Burning at the Notre Dame Cathedral, and a Midnight Picnic on the Left Bank

There are pigeons and love-birds all around Paris' famous Notre Dame Cathedral. Oh, look, here's a couple of love-birds snuggling in front of the wood and calligraphic metal door of the cathedral. Can you hear them cooing? Can you hear the mighty organ reverberating ecstatically through the stone walls of the gothic cathedral?

Inside, the cathedral is glowing with candles and faces turned to god, burning passionately. Everything rises. Far above us, in the pocket of heaven tucked into the angles of the cathedral ceiling, our prayers took wing in the dark warm spaces. A little bit of this hallowed atmosphere entered our lungs, then released itself back into the respiratory system of the cathedral, each of our bodies a minute bronchi in the breathing in and out of this great stone spirit.

This was a brilliant day and night! Oh man, it's the stuff of dreams! We spent time at the legendary Shakespeare and Company English-language bookstore, where we saw a poetry reading and where the kiddos curled up on an old couch with the resident puppy. Then, just literally a hop, skip, and a jump across the river and voila! We were at the Notre Dame cathedral!

We visited the cathedral in 2005 too, but it was closed...so we hung out with backpackers, tourists, and all sorts of colorful characters late into the night watching street artists and fire jugglers. This time, though, oh man...not only was the cathedral open, but there was a midnight mass in progress (serendipity - my true religion!!!) when we entered, replete with organs and the sound of many voices raised like wine to god. After this heady experience, we had a scrumptious picnic while watching a street performer juggle and blow fire. Every time I look at this picture (above), it evokes these memories.

On a sophomoric note: in this picture (above) Phil's backpack looks like a futuristic jet pack, the twin "jets" of the French bread about to propel them across the Seine. It cracks me up!


With full hearts and souls and bellies we strolled around the Left Bank as long as we could before collapsing. It's a sacrilege to waste time sleeping in the city of lights...so we traded a bit of sleep for a bit of Paris that we'll have in our memories forever. A dream for a dream.

Dreams Inside Dreams Like Nesting Dolls

It's been almost 14 years. We've created two amazing daughters, lived on three continents in twelve homes, and owned eleven cars. And still Phil brings me coffee and breakfast in bed every weekend morning.


These little kindnesses are my currency, my diamonds, my peacock feathers. I am unbelievably rich. The scuffle of Phil's footsteps climbing the stairs to our attic bedroom are the gentlest alarm clock. Time to awaken from the dream into the dream.

Butterfly Necklace for Lvov's Birthday