Auf Wiedersehen - Until I See You Again

Our precious three weeks with Phil have finally drawn to a close. We accept it, though. We're used to these goodbyes. First Phil was deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months in 2006, then he PCS'd to Korea for 8 months in 2008. Thankfully we're getting really good at "soldiering up" and dealing with missing each other. Separations force us to be our strongest selves, and help us to appreciate one another more than we otherwise would. There are so many lessons to be learned, and so much growth to experience, from these goodbyes. 

I attribute much of our family's closeness and team mentality to our extensive traveling and also to these lengthy separations. We're constantly in situations that call for us to think and act as one mind, to help one another, to depend on one another in critical ways. We're each a pillar of our family structure, and each of us knows it.

The Frankfurt airport never saw so much hugging. Surprisingly there were very few tears, because we all felt so loved and so close, and we knew that Phil would only be gone for another three months. Compared to eight months, three is a breeze.

Comic relief!

As Lvov used to say, "We love our-chothers!"

Fun at the Burg Nanstein Medieval Fair in Landstuhl, Germany

Goodbyes & Kisses

Goodbyes June 2008 - Leaving for Korea for One Year

Goodbyes are hard. But we've been through this before and we know what to expect. When Phil left in 2005, we were kind of floundering. I didn't speak very much German, Phil was in a potentially dangerous area, we never knew when he would be able to call us (and when he did, he had to wait in line for up to an hour, and even then there was no privacy), we had absolutely no support system here (I cannot stress that enough!) and we didn't have many friends. Phil had to live in a tent with several other guys (absolutely NO personal freedom or privacy) and he had to walk across an unbelievably hot and dusty base just to take a shower.

It was hard for all of us.

This time around, we're more rugged! We've been there, done that. There are so many reasons why this time will be easier than the last, even though this separation is twice as long.

Goodbyes December 2005 - Leaving for Afghanistan for Six Months

Top Ten Reasons Why this Year Will Fly By:

1. We know from experience that we can make it.

2. Phil will become NCOIC of the armory at Osan, and he hears that it's a great shop.

3. Phil has his own room.

4. The girls and I speak and understand much more German this time around, which makes us feel much more comfortable and capable here.

5. We've lived here for 4 years already, so Kaiserslautern feels like home. We know our way around, we know what's what. It's rare for a military family to feel at home somewhere.

6. The kids and I have many more friends.

7. Akychame is old enough to babysit, and Lvov is legally old enough to be home alone anyway (though I insist that they be home together). This is great because I get to avoid mom-burnout! I can have fun on my own, then be 100% present for my kids the rest of the time. The happier I am, the happier they are. So true!

8. Unlike the last separation, this sacrifice has two major pay-offs: Phil won't go to war in Iraq for at least a year and a half! And during that time, the Presidency will have changed hands. We're hoping that this madness will come to an end. But for now, our boy is safe! That alone is worth a year apart.

9. Here's the 2nd benefit: as you all know, as a reward for living apart from his family for a year, Phil has been assigned to a dream base in England! It's a tiny, laid-back base with a very low deployment schedule. And...it's located right next to Oxford, England!!! Oh my, life will be sweet. Major pay-off.

10. This one came as a shock to us all: military dependents who are not command-sponsored (that's us) are allowed to (and welcome to) get a visa to live in Korea for up to a year so that they can visit their sponsors on the weekends!!! So next week I'll be sending out our passport info and applying for visas...it'll take about 2 months for it all to process...then we can take a free military flight to Korea! Phil is excited to start looking for apartments for us near Seoul. We'll probably stay for a month or two. What an adventure! We're also pretty psyched about it because it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from Korea to Tokyo. Even though I remember Tokyo like the back of my hand, the kids' memories of Japan are unfortunately a little faded. Maybe we'll celebrate Christmas in Tokyo. Who knows?

Even though a year is a long time, we're actually very lucky because Army families have to be on their own for 15 months at a time while their soldiers are fightinng in Iraq - and once the soldiers reunite with their families (if they still have families by the time they return) they only have about a 3 or 4 month grace period before they're thrown back into the fire. We Air Force folks have it easy compared to all that. Kudos to all of those struggling families!

So, time marches on. Before bed every night, the girls will have a Hershey's "kiss" from Daddy. Each kiss brings us a day closer to being together.

Phil and Jalina Going out to Dinner for their 14th Wedding Anniversary

Isn't this fantastic??? Lvov made it for us for our anniversary. I can't think of anything better to do on my anniversary than to embrace Phil with cardboard arms while being served miniature dinner at a milk carton table. Lovely!

And we really did go out for a nice dinner, but the place was a real dive - no milk carton tables, no wash cloth table covers...but we did our best to enjoy ourselves.


We dined at Club 21, a bar/restaurant that has a stunning view of Kaiserslautern. It felt as if we were looking out an airplane window - the fresh perspective revealed the city's secrets and every building, alley way, store, and park suddenly made more sense. I saw the interconnectedness of the city; I finally understood the dead ends, the roads I had always meant to take, and the confusing places that I can never quite "map" in my mind's eye.

That night, feasting on delicious food and looking back over the view of our lives together with different and older eyes, everything made sense: the dead ends, the confusing places, the roads we never took. Everything with my boy made sense.

I'm lucky, lucky lucky.

Letters to God at the Church in the Cliff at Idar-Oberstein, Germany

The village of Idar-Oberstein lies about 45km up the Nahe River from Bad Münster am Stein-Ebernburg. It's a long, twisting drive from Kaiserslautern, a little over an hour through forests and mountains. We had heard so much about this quaint village, the church built into the side of a cliff, and the one-of-a-kind jewelry created on-site, that we absolutely had to check it out. For a weekend "quickie" trip, this was a lovely adventure!

Idar-Oberstein was once a mining center for precious stones and minerals, but when the industry exhausted its resources in the 1800's, the little town became renowned for jewelry craftmanship. This is where people go to find cutting-edge gemstone jewelry.

From Oberstein's Marktplatz (where most of the unbelievably artsy and wonderful jewelry boutiques are located, tucked into little corners here and there, and spilling out into the cobblestone alleyways), 230 steps lead up to the late fifteenth-century Felsenkirche, a late Gothic church set in a grotto about halfway up a steep rockface. Amazingly, you have to walk through a cave to get to the front door of the church! What a thrill...the drip, drip, dripping of water from the rock ceiling above us, the dank smell of minerals and forest, the darkness...

Inside, the church is clean, bright, and modern. One would never guess that it was built into a cliff over 600 years ago! Imagine our delight when we found a winding walkway through a side door of the church that led us between the church and the rock face, up to the bell tower and a little wooden lookout! We could see the entire town laid out beneath us. As if to celebrate this discovery, the gigantic metal bell sang out...what serendipity!

Before we left the church, we found a little nook overlooking the cliff. On a table, what we thought was a magnificent guest book lay open inviting us to read and to leave our impressions of our visit. When I began reading the entires, mostly auf Deutsch, it became clear that this was no guest book. It was a book of prayers to god! Each entry was different; the handwriting, color of ink, length of the entries,language, and the prayers themselves were all unique and beautiful the way they were arranged on the pages like a quilt of ink and hope. You can see Lvov writing a letter to God in this picture:

The church was so exhilarating, we wanted to keep exploring despite the sheets of rain. So we found a path that leads up from the Felsenkirche to two feudal castles, from which you can see views of Oberstein and the Nahe valley. Burg Bosselstein was built in 1196. Schloss Oberstein was built in the early fourteenth century and remained intact until it sustained severe fire damage in 1855. The Schloss, or castle, seems to grow organically out of the rockface, similar to the "church in the rock." The path led through old growth forest, the stuff of fairy tales, and across little foot bridges to the Burg and Schloss. Along the way we collected leaves, heart-shaped rocks, seeds with crimson tongues just poking out, and all sorts of treasures.

Before going home we bought a few crystals (I bought some "wands" to use on pressure points for massage) and then we stopped at a little restaurant in the village for a wonderful, sleepy dinner. Our family adventures make me so happy.

Lvov and Mommy's Favorite Memory of Paris

Lvov and I sitting on the edge of a little dock-island in the middle of the Seine, our feet dangling over the river at midnight, a bottle of French wine after a poetry reading...chilly noses and cuddles...Eiffel tower in the distance and drunkards and lovers stumbling about on both sides of the river...Lvov and I hung our feet over the edge and sang like a couple of happy drunks while Akychame and Phil walked around filming and taking pictures. It was amazing to see everything lit up with white light, and to watch the dinner and party boats cruise slowly past us, waving. We were in the heart of our lives, in the heart of the Seine in the heart of Paris.

Lvov says:

Sitting with Mommy on a skinny island by Pont Neuf bridge was my favorite time in Paris because it was with my mommy and we had a perfect view of the Eiffel tower with the white lights going off on it. Last time we were in Paris last year, we looked down from the Eiffel Tower and on the grass below somebody had carved a huge heart into the grass. Probably for their boyfriend or girlfriend to see when they looked down from the tower. Mommy and I were cuddling and we could see and hear little waves in the water and other people were scared of sitting so close to the water, but mommy held me so tightly. It was really nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dreams Inside Dreams Like Nesting Dolls

It's been almost 14 years. We've created two amazing daughters, lived on three continents in twelve homes, and owned eleven cars. And still Phil brings me coffee and breakfast in bed every weekend morning.


These little kindnesses are my currency, my diamonds, my peacock feathers. I am unbelievably rich. The scuffle of Phil's footsteps climbing the stairs to our attic bedroom are the gentlest alarm clock. Time to awaken from the dream into the dream.

Our Apron-Making Weekend

Because my apron was so boring compared to theirs, Lvov drew lovely pictures all over it in permanent marker, and wrote nice little notes to me. In the front pocket of my apron she wrote me a secret message upside-down, so that when I look down to get something out of my pocket, I can read it perfectly. She wrote, "you are the most beautiful mommy in the world!"