Love Love Love

Just thinking about our little family today, and all of our happy memories together.

A Thousand Miniature Get-Well Wishes from Lvov

The second week that Phil was away, I caught a cold (compounded by allergies). To keep me company, Lvov sat at my desk next to my bed tinkering away for about an hour and a half. This is what she was making, instead of playing outside or watching a movie or playing with the hamster...(please click on this picture to see the little notes!)

My children are so wonderful, they even make being sick joyful. They are my joy, every minute.

Daddy's Goodbye Pillow

Goodbyes & Kisses

Goodbyes June 2008 - Leaving for Korea for One Year

Goodbyes are hard. But we've been through this before and we know what to expect. When Phil left in 2005, we were kind of floundering. I didn't speak very much German, Phil was in a potentially dangerous area, we never knew when he would be able to call us (and when he did, he had to wait in line for up to an hour, and even then there was no privacy), we had absolutely no support system here (I cannot stress that enough!) and we didn't have many friends. Phil had to live in a tent with several other guys (absolutely NO personal freedom or privacy) and he had to walk across an unbelievably hot and dusty base just to take a shower.

It was hard for all of us.

This time around, we're more rugged! We've been there, done that. There are so many reasons why this time will be easier than the last, even though this separation is twice as long.

Goodbyes December 2005 - Leaving for Afghanistan for Six Months

Top Ten Reasons Why this Year Will Fly By:

1. We know from experience that we can make it.

2. Phil will become NCOIC of the armory at Osan, and he hears that it's a great shop.

3. Phil has his own room.

4. The girls and I speak and understand much more German this time around, which makes us feel much more comfortable and capable here.

5. We've lived here for 4 years already, so Kaiserslautern feels like home. We know our way around, we know what's what. It's rare for a military family to feel at home somewhere.

6. The kids and I have many more friends.

7. Akychame is old enough to babysit, and Lvov is legally old enough to be home alone anyway (though I insist that they be home together). This is great because I get to avoid mom-burnout! I can have fun on my own, then be 100% present for my kids the rest of the time. The happier I am, the happier they are. So true!

8. Unlike the last separation, this sacrifice has two major pay-offs: Phil won't go to war in Iraq for at least a year and a half! And during that time, the Presidency will have changed hands. We're hoping that this madness will come to an end. But for now, our boy is safe! That alone is worth a year apart.

9. Here's the 2nd benefit: as you all know, as a reward for living apart from his family for a year, Phil has been assigned to a dream base in England! It's a tiny, laid-back base with a very low deployment schedule. And...it's located right next to Oxford, England!!! Oh my, life will be sweet. Major pay-off.

10. This one came as a shock to us all: military dependents who are not command-sponsored (that's us) are allowed to (and welcome to) get a visa to live in Korea for up to a year so that they can visit their sponsors on the weekends!!! So next week I'll be sending out our passport info and applying for visas...it'll take about 2 months for it all to process...then we can take a free military flight to Korea! Phil is excited to start looking for apartments for us near Seoul. We'll probably stay for a month or two. What an adventure! We're also pretty psyched about it because it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from Korea to Tokyo. Even though I remember Tokyo like the back of my hand, the kids' memories of Japan are unfortunately a little faded. Maybe we'll celebrate Christmas in Tokyo. Who knows?

Even though a year is a long time, we're actually very lucky because Army families have to be on their own for 15 months at a time while their soldiers are fightinng in Iraq - and once the soldiers reunite with their families (if they still have families by the time they return) they only have about a 3 or 4 month grace period before they're thrown back into the fire. We Air Force folks have it easy compared to all that. Kudos to all of those struggling families!

So, time marches on. Before bed every night, the girls will have a Hershey's "kiss" from Daddy. Each kiss brings us a day closer to being together.

Lvov's Apology Gift Left Outside of Akychame's Door the Morning After an Argument

Inside the tissue paper baggie is Lvov's prized possession: the smoky quartz rock she bought at Idar-Oberstein, the mining village where we visited the church in the cliff. These girls are always leaving little love notes and gifts for each other, and for us.

Phil and Jalina Going out to Dinner for their 14th Wedding Anniversary

Isn't this fantastic??? Lvov made it for us for our anniversary. I can't think of anything better to do on my anniversary than to embrace Phil with cardboard arms while being served miniature dinner at a milk carton table. Lovely!

And we really did go out for a nice dinner, but the place was a real dive - no milk carton tables, no wash cloth table covers...but we did our best to enjoy ourselves.


We dined at Club 21, a bar/restaurant that has a stunning view of Kaiserslautern. It felt as if we were looking out an airplane window - the fresh perspective revealed the city's secrets and every building, alley way, store, and park suddenly made more sense. I saw the interconnectedness of the city; I finally understood the dead ends, the roads I had always meant to take, and the confusing places that I can never quite "map" in my mind's eye.

That night, feasting on delicious food and looking back over the view of our lives together with different and older eyes, everything made sense: the dead ends, the confusing places, the roads we never took. Everything with my boy made sense.

I'm lucky, lucky lucky.

Mommy is Crowned Queen of Everybody Because She "Rocks More than Anybody Else"

Reuniting with Friends from 20 years Ago

Hanging out with my Sisters and my Niece!!!

I was soooooo psyched to see Jody, to hang out late at night and giggle and tell secrets. It's what I really go to Bennington College for. ; ) To think, I used to sneak into her bedroom in Burbank, California and steal her lunch money to go buy things at the neighbor's yard sale. But that was the same year I tried making glamorous high-heels by gluing Lincoln Logs to the bottom of my sneakers, so what did I know?

My sister Jody is so creative and clever and dynamic. Always in the midst of a new project that would easily overwhelm other people. Not to mention she's just funny and real and cool and one of my favorite people on earth to talk for hours and hours with. And one of the only people I can tell everything to. Everything! And that's a lot. Thank you, Jody.



Every time I see Kiva, she has grown into more of a hip, gorgeous, self-confident young lady, and what a dancer! She reminds me of Chelsea with her smart, self-assured attitude and her hip-hop moves. Every time we get together I try out some of her moves - oh god - if you're over 30 and you ever want proof that you're hopelessly uncool, despite vague memories of once having been the shiznit, just try keeping up with your younger sister on the dance floor.
; )

I love that my Dad always gets our names confused, even though I've lived on different continents for over a decade now. It's an amazing compliment because it means that I'm always on my Dad's mind, and also it means that he sees a little bit of me in her fiery, goddess-like temperament. I like that!

Speaking of being confused with other people in the family, I also love it (and have always loved it) that Jody used to get Chelsea's name and my name mixed up. I'm sure it came naturally, since I'm younger than Jody, so she was often in an authoritative role with me - and Chelsea was the only other person that fit that role. So it makes sense that she would switch our names. But I also like to think that Chelsea, in some way, reminds her of me, and vice-versa. Chelsea, oh my goodness, I love you. And the mama you came from.

Our Cozy Christmas 2007

Our Lovely Paris Vacation: A Poetry Reading, Burning at the Notre Dame Cathedral, and a Midnight Picnic on the Left Bank

There are pigeons and love-birds all around Paris' famous Notre Dame Cathedral. Oh, look, here's a couple of love-birds snuggling in front of the wood and calligraphic metal door of the cathedral. Can you hear them cooing? Can you hear the mighty organ reverberating ecstatically through the stone walls of the gothic cathedral?

Inside, the cathedral is glowing with candles and faces turned to god, burning passionately. Everything rises. Far above us, in the pocket of heaven tucked into the angles of the cathedral ceiling, our prayers took wing in the dark warm spaces. A little bit of this hallowed atmosphere entered our lungs, then released itself back into the respiratory system of the cathedral, each of our bodies a minute bronchi in the breathing in and out of this great stone spirit.

This was a brilliant day and night! Oh man, it's the stuff of dreams! We spent time at the legendary Shakespeare and Company English-language bookstore, where we saw a poetry reading and where the kiddos curled up on an old couch with the resident puppy. Then, just literally a hop, skip, and a jump across the river and voila! We were at the Notre Dame cathedral!

We visited the cathedral in 2005 too, but it was closed...so we hung out with backpackers, tourists, and all sorts of colorful characters late into the night watching street artists and fire jugglers. This time, though, oh man...not only was the cathedral open, but there was a midnight mass in progress (serendipity - my true religion!!!) when we entered, replete with organs and the sound of many voices raised like wine to god. After this heady experience, we had a scrumptious picnic while watching a street performer juggle and blow fire. Every time I look at this picture (above), it evokes these memories.

On a sophomoric note: in this picture (above) Phil's backpack looks like a futuristic jet pack, the twin "jets" of the French bread about to propel them across the Seine. It cracks me up!


With full hearts and souls and bellies we strolled around the Left Bank as long as we could before collapsing. It's a sacrilege to waste time sleeping in the city of lights...so we traded a bit of sleep for a bit of Paris that we'll have in our memories forever. A dream for a dream.

Paris' Left Bank: the Legendary Shakespeare & Company Bookstore

In every corner, dilapidated couches and cupboards in the walls serve as beds for any down-on-their-luck bohemians in Paris lacking accommodation. In exchange for a couple of hours of work in the store, travelers can crash at "Tumbleweeds," snuggling up in beds and couches in the bookstore (above).


This was our first visit to Shakespeare and Company bookstore, the old haunt of Anais Nin and Henry Miller (a couple of my favorite lovebirds and writers). It's a fusion of living room and bookstore, of 1950's and 2007, of bohemian hedonism and commercialism (it was surprisingly expensive). I had to remind myself that we're not just paying for books. We're paying for history, ambience, and, some would say most importantly, we're paying an institution that provides free shelter to writers from all walks of life.

One of the owner's good friends stopped Phil to tell him how happy he was that he had brought his young daughters to the store. He said that they are very lucky to experience a place like this so young. I'm not entirely sure that the girls saw it that way, though; they couldn't wait for the poetry reading to be over! They curled up on couches and quietly read and played with a dog who seemed to live there along with a group of transient writers.

Funny side note: I had the most uncomfortable conversation with a resident writer there, who was striking a magnificently introspective pose while seated at a little desk with pen in hand (remember Burroughs in Naked Lunch getting pulled over by the cops? When asked to prove that he's a writer, he holds up a pen and says something like, 'Of course. I have a writing tool'). After about a minute of conversation, during which he made it very clear that he is a writer who is "pondering the next great American novel" he cut me off and said, "do you mind? I have writing to do." I'll bet that Henry Miller would be as amused by this as I was.

Here are a couple of pictures of the bulletin board upstairs (it's interesting if you click on them to enlarge):


As I was taking these pictures, a curtain above the bulletin board rustled, and I nearly jumped to see a woman lying down in a little bed behind it! Anything that can conceivably be used as a bed, is. After that little surprise, I made sure to act really cool just in case there were other people similarly curled up in hidden nooks throughout the store, watching me. God forbid someone catch me photographing Shakespeare and Co. like it's some sort of tourist attraction.

And...the treasure. There is always a treasure at a used bookstore, and it is different for each of us. This treasure is pretty self-explanatory (besides just looking like a hell of a good read):


It's missing the "I" but that's OK; "I" wouldn't exactly want to be in this novel, anyway. Judging completely by the cover.

Lvov and Mommy's Favorite Memory of Paris

Lvov and I sitting on the edge of a little dock-island in the middle of the Seine, our feet dangling over the river at midnight, a bottle of French wine after a poetry reading...chilly noses and cuddles...Eiffel tower in the distance and drunkards and lovers stumbling about on both sides of the river...Lvov and I hung our feet over the edge and sang like a couple of happy drunks while Akychame and Phil walked around filming and taking pictures. It was amazing to see everything lit up with white light, and to watch the dinner and party boats cruise slowly past us, waving. We were in the heart of our lives, in the heart of the Seine in the heart of Paris.

Lvov says:

Sitting with Mommy on a skinny island by Pont Neuf bridge was my favorite time in Paris because it was with my mommy and we had a perfect view of the Eiffel tower with the white lights going off on it. Last time we were in Paris last year, we looked down from the Eiffel Tower and on the grass below somebody had carved a huge heart into the grass. Probably for their boyfriend or girlfriend to see when they looked down from the tower. Mommy and I were cuddling and we could see and hear little waves in the water and other people were scared of sitting so close to the water, but mommy held me so tightly. It was really nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas Video 2005/2006 dedicated to Family

I created this video about a year ago, but I couldn't figure out how to burn it onto disks for Christmas presents. I was so frustrated! Jody and Jean saw a little bit of it last January when we were back home. The original movie was about an hour long - it was a documentary about our lives over here, and had tons of pictures of us visiting you guys in the states. In retrospect, an hour was a little long, so it's probably a good thing that this blog limits me to about 5 minutes of video - short and sweet!

So here is your main Christmas present - a year later! It's a thank-you video to all of you for being so supportive and amazing while Phil was deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months. You all really outdid yourselves sending us tons of gifts and love on December first so that we could celebrate an early Christmas before Phil deployed on December 7th, 2005. Thank you!!! We couldn't have done it without you!